Saturday, December 27, 2014

i'm so tired right now

To summarize my day, "Yay pictures! Ow, feet/calves/knee." It's just as well I go home tomorrow because I don't have it in me to do another day of sightseeing in Kyoto. My calves were screaming yesterday. Today I visited Inari mountain, and then I walked all the way up the mountain. Coming back down was an exercise in near futility, it hurt so much. I was not made to climb stairs. I can walk great distances in straight lines, but God help me if I try to climb stairs.

However, I did manage to get my long-sought pictures of the Inari Shrine torii gates, which cover a 4km hike up the side of Inari mountain. Between these pics and those of the bamboo forest on Friday, I've now photographed two of the things I've always wanted to photograph. (Incredible pics of sakura blossoms is still on the list, since last March/May I'd just arrived and was too busy figuring out How To Japan to go anywhere neat for great pics.)











At the end of today, when I finally made it back from the mountain and had eaten dinner at a restaurant in Gion, I began thinking about souvenirs. I feel like I should buy something to commemorate the trip. But the thing is, the pictures I have are my souvenirs. They're records of my time here, and the fact that I was able to be here to capture these specific, special photos are what matter the most to me. It may seem silly, but it's not just seeing these places that excites me, it's the fact that I'm able to capture the kind of photos that are famous and iconic. The flower hills in Hitachi Seaside Park are iconic, and this spring I plan to get a lot of photos.

This trip made me think about the photo opportunities I might be able to find in my own prefecture, Ibaraki, and even my own area, in Hitachinaka and Mito. There are little side streets in Mito that are probably lit up on weekends with cool stores and shops, filled with interesting people. There are probably a lot of opportunities for street photography in my own area that I have yet to take advantage of.
This was Mito's riverside during a festival in summer.

That's all going to happen later, though. For now, I'm exhausted, and really glad I'll have a full week to relax and recover before work starts again in 2015. The hard part tomorrow will be dragging my enormous suitcase all over the trains all the way home. Once I'm home, though, I can take a day or two of lazing around watching Netflix until standing up and walking around doesn't sound like work anymore.

I've had a fantastic time in Kyoto. I was worried I'd feel lonely at some point, or wish I had someone to share this with, but the truth is, I'm happy I came by myself. I have spent three days doing everything at my own pace, making every decision based on my own whims, and having to consider no one's needs but my own. I got to spend a whole day wandering the same streets in Gion taking endless photos; bike to random places and stop wherever I pleased at Arashiyama; and best of all, there was nobody around to be empathetic or encouraging when I was in ridiculous pain the entire 4 kilometers back down Inari Mountain today, because if one person had tried to kindly tell me to "just keep going" or make me feel rushed when my knee was screaming at me, I might have committed murder. For the better, I spent this entire vacation on my own, and it's been wonderful. I like being around people, but when it comes to relaxing and enjoying things that matter to me, I need to be alone. If there are other people around me, I worry about what they might need, or want, or where they might want to go or do or see, or if they're hungry, or if I'm inconveniencing them when I need to go to the bathroom or get food or want to take fifty pictures of this specific square foot of space. I can't relax fully when I'm around other people, even if I like, trust, and love them.

I've had a good 2014 in Japan. I'm learning Japanese by leaps and bounds, I'm learning about the culture, and I'm making a good life for myself.

I'm exhausted right now, so I'm going to upload some pictures and then scroll mindlessly through tumblr until it's time to sleep.

Merry Christmas and (almost) Happy New Year!

No comments:

Post a Comment